The prank calls are pretty much how what you expect them to be when you are a porn clerk at a nasty shop. (Or adult video store, jack shack, whatever nick name you have for us). "My wife and I bought a strap on from you guys and she was using it on me and now I can't get it out. What should I do?"
"If you really have a disembodied dick lost somewhere inside you maybe 911 would be your first call." That was a pretty funny call, actually. The probably teen age boy making it really tried to sell it. I gave him points for not laughing.
I get the prank calls, but the callers who can't get hard unless they can draw who they hope is an unsuspecting porn clerk into the ritual are.. Creepy, sad, intriguing, and ultimately annoying.
There is one notorious caller who I has targeted the lady porn clerks at all of our stores for at least a couple years. He managed to get the hot young lipstick lesbian working swing shift to stay on the phone through his whole rehearsed story. He and his wife are good well off Christians having some problems in the bedroom. He likes anal sex but she won't let him anywhere near there.( Somehow he works in the promise of spending a lot of money at our store and making for a good commission check if the clerk stays on the phone.)
The story eventually reads like a bad Penthouse Forums letter that he probably needs to be exactly the same every time he tells it because he used up all his imagination coming up with it years ago and it's the only thing his useless little pecker responds too.
Basically he tells the clerk about picking up two teenage girl hitchhikers in a town called Estacada with the end result being that he forces them to have anal sex. He told the story to my roommate when she worked there and he got upset when she told him he was a rapist. I think he needs the girl to get a little upset so he can hear the quiver in her voice so he can feels like a man, however temporarily.
He continued to try and call the girl at our store until she finally refused to talk to him. He totally thinks of himself as some powerful brilliant manipulator especially since he was able to scare our girl into thinking he might come down to the store anytime. He must get off on the tiny bit of power that he gets doing that, probably because in real life nobody respects him.
I've gotten a few calls from either guys or girls or guys pretending to be girls in which they start out asking about our selection of dildos our something similar and soon they are wanting me to describe in detail every inch of it. Can you imagine how boring and limited your sexual life must be that you like hearing a porn clerk describe a dido to you over the phone?? By the way I don't get him all hot by describing any of our big throbbing beautifl fake dicks... because I would be so good at it that he would call twice a day.
Of course you have your run of the mill wankers like a guy who called wondering if it would be OK for him to leave his booth door open in the arcade while he "massaged" his cock because it's pretty big. Actually in my experience guys with pretty big cock's don't need to tell you that they are big. Oh who am I kidding, every guy like to tell you how big he is. That's why everyone on line is at least packing a good 8.
I got a call last week that started out normal and ended with a guy doing his best woman's voice pleading with me to pick out something for her FAT and Hungry pussy. It sounds to me like what it needs is diet and exercise, not bigger and bigger items making that thing stronger. "Feed me Seymour, F-ed me!"
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