looking for something for the girlfriend

A trio was in the other night exploring the shop. One guy was looking for a dildo to use for anal play with his girlfriend while he was having sex with her. I guess he has seen a few DP porn's and had a fantasy. She was there as well but completely uncomfortable taking about sex.I got the feeling they were high on coke, they seemed more like coke than method people. I tried to give them my best advice about first time anal sex, how important relaxing is, etc. He was actuallytoo high to actually listen, he just wanted to talk. I would have recommend poppers but we are no longer allowed to talk about the purpose people buy them for... They are only for removing nail polish or cleaning the head of your VCR now. 

     He wanted something about the same size as him... Guys usually don't want to get their girl a sex toy that dwarfs them. He was pretty proud of how big he was when he was showing me the size of dildo he wanted. Every man should be proud of their cock, and have a healthy relationship with it. That said, the size he said he was which he seemed to think was fairly big wasn't so big. It was average at best. A lot of straight guys who don't see a whole lot of other erect penises often have no idea where they fit compared to other guys. Many large guys think they are small and small guys think they are much bigger than other guys.

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product review:Phil Varone rock star ring

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your only purpose is to be a whore

We have one of the blow up dolls at work wearing a set of bunny ears and panties for our easter sell. (20% off rabbit and egg vibes and 20% off pipes since Easter falls on 4:20 this year)
   With a regular egging me on I had a little fun with the Bunny Whore doll last night.
    By the way she is the barely legal doll who looks almost exactly like the couger doll, she just costs a little more presumably because of the age difference.

ABC's of janky sex- A

    I came across a bog I used to write years ago, and a lot of the posts were aex related... Big surprise. Anyway ,I had started a stores called the ABC's of janky sex that I never finished. I'm going to start reblogging them and attempt to finish it. FYI the reason the title says janky sex use because the name of my blog was janky B's Dive and I liked the name so I kept it.

     A is for Amsterdam Adventure:

 In March of 1997, at the age of 21, I spent 3 eye opening weeks in of the best places to have your eyes opened...Amsterdam, Netherlands. One destination on my itinerary that I will never forget even though I didn't take a single picture was Thermos Days (the daytime bathhouse...as opposed to Thermos Nights which I managed to check out as well.)

     This place was so unlike American bathhouses that the only thing they had in common was gay sex. 99% of you reading this probably never have and never will set foot in a bathhouse and at least 50% of you might not even know what one is. Basically its a building where gay and bi men can rent lockers or rooms, cruise the halls in just a towel and have sex. Many American establishments are sleazy "down low" type places where men hardly ever speak to each other and do most of their communicating with eye contact and body language. There is usually a porn room, a sauna, a dark maze(scary) with some being much nicer than others. Like everything there are exceptions, but for the most part these are not social places. In America that is. This joint in Amsterdam was like our rich, out of the closet second cousin, twice removed. It had a full bar where naked men socialized and bought each other drinks (you were given a number to clip on your towel to keep a tab). There was also a swimming pool on the first floor, along with the standard porn rooms and sauna's. The numerous floors above had small walk in closet size rooms that were padded with the kind of floor mats gymnasts use and that you could duck into with anybody you liked to do anything you liked. There were also private rooms if you wanted to pay for them. Oh, and did I mention the gym, hair stylist, tanning salon and restaurant that were also available. And to make the place complete there were incredibly hot men of all types representing countries from all over the world. I met with a representative from quite a few European countries as well as Brazil on that unforgettable day of culture shock.(that's the classy way of saying I fucked my way around most of western Europe that night.

    I also happened to meet a very charging Dutch gentleman who I went ended up staying with for the rest of my time there. 

I want to be gang banged by Earth's mightiest hero's!

For all the super villains I've given it up for its about time karma sent a few super hero's my way. Instead of collecting stamps or souvenir spoons from each state i'm going to start collecting comic book character sec toys. We have the spider man dildo at my work and I've almost made an impulse purchase of it many times. It's actually a little smaller than what I've imagined Peter parkers cock being... Yeah I've imagined what my friendly neighborhood spider man's dick.
  I don't have to think twice to know I want that angry green monster cock to start my collection. And yes I think I would like you when your angry.

sexual horror stories: the 36 hour erection

This story is especially scary because it's true. This really happened to me.
A couple of weeks before Christmas about 8 years ago I messed around where I probably shouldn't have been messing. I took a Viagra like prescription that was totally not prescribed for me. It's called Trimix I believe and like Viagra it is supposed to give you a longer more satisfying erection. Well...I definitely can't say it didn't work.

The first nine hours of my monster erection weren't bad. I took the stuff at about 1am on Saturday night.12 hours later I had already ..um...finished my business and had been expecting "my guest" to get lost. But as I looked down it looked like my little friend (who wasn't so little. In fact he was bigger than I had ever seen him) had other plans. He was engorged with more blood than was probably healthy, standing straight up at attention like a teenager's and had begun to throb painfully. This is about the time that I finally had to admit to my bf, Cain, what I had taken and that things were not fading away down there. (note..we have an sexually open relationship and had started all this with friends of ours while he was asleep. I wasn't confessing to cheating, I was admitting I took some of his Trimex.) He was a little pissed but was more concerned with getting me to the hospital. After all, the commercials for Viagra say if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours to see a Doctor was 12 hours and counting. I refused to go see help because I had to be to work in a few hours and it was too late to call in. Instead I ran "it" under cold water in the bath and insisted that it was going down. But it wasn't.

At five i had to go in to work. Believe me, putting pants on and trying to contain the monster was not fun. It was in fact quite painful, but I was stubborn about not calling in and I did my best . I was at work a few hours when it became clear that I could not do that all night. I had to keep my shirt pulled down over the front of my pants to keep anybody from noticing and I was really starting to hurt. Finally I took my assistant manager aside. "I'm going to tell you something that I really don't want to tell you," I started. I proceeded to tell her what happened and that I should go to the hospital. I called and got somebody to cover for me...after telling her about it too.

When i got home, Cain had been doing research online and suggested we try ice packs...putting pressure on some part of the leg, and other home remedy's. I insisted they were working as I lay on the couch with an icepack over my privates. I was really not wanting to go to the hospital and looking back I was being ridiculous and stupid. About ten the next morning Cain checked on me...And it was as hard as ever.It had been up for 34 hours about. We went to the hospital.

That was a traumatizing experience I don't want to relive again. The doctors and nurses at this religious hospital weren't all that sympathetic and they certainly weren't handling me with a soft touch for sure. Thats not totally true. One Dr. was very nice, and cute. I thought they were being mean and more rough than they had to be with putting the IV in for example. I told Cain, and when the Dr was about to do a procedure and asked Cain to go to the waiting room. Cain refused to go anywhere. So he stayed, and him and the Dr. got to be good buddies. He asked questions and even offered to help out at one point.

I got lots of shots all over my penis to numb it so they could draw the blood out. The blood was black and without any oxygen. Thats what I'm told by Cain, I wouldn't look. Well it didn't work and I ended up having to have surgery. To wrap it up I was put out while they put shunts under my testicle area to flow the blood away. When i woke up I had a black jock strap on which really tripped my post-surgery self out. I spent the night in the hospital with a blood pressure cuff wrapped around my area that would get pumped up every 2 hours to stimulate blood flow. Oh and it was a few more days before the thing looked like it was going down, because it was so swollen after surgery.,

On the plus side, I think they cut some muscles or something down there, because for the next year when it was flaccid and at rest...its in a much bigger state of " rest" than before. 'to put it bluntly what used to be a grower and not a shower, was quite a bit showier. That lasted for about a year . I couldn't have sex for over a month cuz of stitches and healing...but I'm lucky things turned out as well as they did. Oh..and I got told "I loveyou" for the fist time by the bf before I was wheeled into surgery, so that was not bad. Also my orgasms changed considerably. Instead of quick easy cums it frequently took much longer for me to get off building up into huge earth shattering multiple orgasms. They felt incredible but took a lot out of me leaving me exhausted. They are pretty much back to normal these days. The Dr thought there was a chance i could never get hard again... That was not the case.
I guess the moral is if you want a declaration of love and a bigger penis you should take somebody else's prescription and hope it turns out as good. uh yeah..i learned my lesson. Seriously, I will never touch anything like that again.. For fucking real

The porno version: Different Strokes

One of the commandments of porn is Thou shall make an XXX version of any TV show, movie, book, news story or weather pattern etc. So let me pitch some porn ideas that I don't believe have been made, which is challenging because the porn industry has turned nearly everything into a fuck flick. Seriously there is a Golden Girls porn.

Take the classic 80's sitcom Different Strokes and make it a hard core gay movie. Call it Deviant Strokes. Its the story of an old white guy in the role of daddy to a hot black twink and his midget brother. It's got interracial, daddy and midget sex! Hey, the pervs like it a little freaky. We don't all move to the beat of just one drum. It takes deviant strokes to rule the world. What might be right for you may not be right for some.

pos

m Bloggeroid

product review: Flesh Jack

A couple of months ago I won a sales contest at work and was able to pick a prize from the products in the store. I knew right away that I wanted a flesh light, a masturbator that's kind of disquised as a flash light when not in use. The flesh light always seems to win best male sec toy at the AVN awards and is advertised as the best selling male toy in the world.
We had two flesh lights in stock and one flesh jack. They are both made by the same company, but the Jacks are marketed towards gay men. The flesh lights were supposed to be a girls ass and pussy, respectably. The jack has the look of a guys mouth. I instinctively choose the guy mouth, as I would in real life if those 3 choices were offered up to me.
The thing that makes the flesh light stand out from cheap strokers are the various textures, bumps and ridges inside the toy, otherwise your just sliding your cock in and out of of a cyber skin sleeve. Trust me there's a difference.
  It turned out the jack did not have those special textures, it was just a rubbery sleeve. I tried using it once and it wasn't very stimulating. It didn't turn me on and it was probably what putting your dick in a bowl of jello feels like.
   I still haven't experienced the awesome power of the flesh light I have heard about. I don't know why the one I got would be so boring and untextured when all the other types are fully loaded. If I had paid the $75 that it cost instead of the $20 I paid for the difference that my prize didn't cov

er I would be pissed.

Looking at it in the pic can't you imagine it saying " feed me Seymour, feed me "

shift notes

-A kid who just turned 18 yesterday just came in and nervously made his way to the arcade. I repeat, an innocent barely legal teen is lost in the arcade
-  During a walk through of the arcade there was a guy in the largest corner booth... And he hadn't put any money in... He was Just sitting on the floor spread eagle flicking his nipples and wearing dark sunglasses.. I almost stepped on him.I told him to put money in. "But I'm waiting for someone to come back" I bet you are, but you can put money in while you wait. 
  -  Two guys were just yelling at each other right outside the door and I heard "is that a knife? Did you just draw a knife on me you mother fucker? Draw a knife on me again!"
I knew I should lock the door or something but I'm the stupid bitch you yell at in the horror movie and I open the door to peek out. I saw a creepy older man with long greasy hair and he's saying something about the other guy running off and then he is walking away across the street.

super hero's are gay

between a rock and a hard place

A guy was in wanting to buy some hard on pills. I told him which ones I've heard good things about. One of my regulars told me one if the new pills was almost too good. But he didn't want any of the recommended ones because there were only one pill per pack so he got some that I haven't heard anything good about because there were more pills included. It's not quantity over quality when you want to be ready to go. I hope he remembers my advice when he's taken all his pills and has nothing much to speak of to show for it.
      In case you were wondering the one we have now that I have heard good things about are... Miracle zen platinum are the ones I've had several customers rave about. SWAG and Xzen platinum seem to be good standbys. Some people really like stiff nights but the reviews are mixed there. Man up worked really well. I speak from experience that those puppies were awesome. It seems like whenever something works really well they soon get pulled off the market, so if you find something that works really well for you stock up

shift notes

I just sold the cyber skin torso of a woman.. She is basically a hooker with her limbs and head amputated... For $500!

During a walk through of the arcade there was a guy in a booth... And he hadn't put any money in... Just sitting on the floor flicking his nipples.I told him to put money in. "But I'm waiting for someone to come back" I bet you are, but you can put money in while you wait

A couple in their 50s were just in and the man picked out 4 porn's advertised as featuring teens. I wonder what she thought about that

I changed the air freshener in the bathroom... Always a highlight of my week. Now if you go in there and shut your eyes it's as if you were in secluded area of Forest park that is over grown by raspberry bushes. The smell of fresh berries envelopes you and then you discover the spot where some seriel killer has been dumping a lot of dead hookers

there's no PC in porn

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your horoscope for the week of March 26

Aries- Today is a great day to finally pull the plug on any loved ones who have been racking up the hospital bills recently with their fancy respirators. Take in a movie while your out and about.

Taurus- Forget all that diet and exercise mumbo jumbo you've been contemplating Taurus. Bulimia is making a comeback as the hot new weight loss program. 

Gemini- Everybody really likes your sexy new haircut Gem. Jupiter and Venus conjoin to make this a great time to whore it up all over time just like the old days.

Cancer- Lifetime Television for women and the Oxygen network race to get their version of your life story made into television movies this week. The Lifetime movie stars Valerie Bertaneli as you while Oprah tackles the role over at Oxygen. That kinda bites for you male Cancers. Both movies reveal every last detail of your story and both films suck ass and in a few cases actually bore a few seniors in Florida to death.

Leo- Its a fine time to find romance Leo. Especially if you can scrape together the $45 dollars for the Russian she male who works on the corner. How sweet.

Virgo- I think its awesome that we are comfortable enough with each other that you can tell me when you think my breath is bad and how loudly I allegedly snore Virgo. Just awesome. That makes it especially sweet that I can share with you just how big of a farting machine you are at night. In the spirit of honesty I also need to reveal that I shaved your head while you dozed soundly after all the Nyquil I dosed you with before bed. Oh...and I replaced your shampoo withe Nair. Damn, this honesty does feel nice.

Libra- Your loved ones are planning an intervention today to confront your growing alcoholism. The stars suggest you skip it and meet me for a night of booze and hookers south of the border. Are you game? Of course you are rummy.

Scorpio- Orange is so your color Scorpio. Actually its gonna have to be your color for the next 5 to 10 years. Hot.

Sagittarius- Your glamorous new career as a drug dealer hits a snag this week when you manage to get two cars stolen, are robbed at gunpoint by you aunt/best customer and end up leaving your entire stash that you haven't yet paid for in a video booth at a nasty shop you stopped to have dirty sex in. But it's not to late to change the future....oh wait. I meant to post this earlier. Those awful things already happened, didn't they? Oops. Oh Well, theres always the fast paced world of street prostitution. 

Capricorn- Its a red letter week for you goats Cappy. You will find the love of your life and a long lost sibling this week. Heres a little advice...try not to make them the same person. OK?

Aquarius- Bitch, if you think you can be getting all up on my man when I leave the room, like I can't see you in this great big trailer then your stupider than your mama said you were. You better watch it. I'll cut you bitch. 

Pisces- Your face will be all over the cover of The Enquirer, The Star and The Sun when it is revealed that somebody knows what you did last summer. The Weekly World News decides to run with a follow up on Bat Boy and what he's been up to for the last few years.

" it's OK I don't have AIDS"

A drunk guy who did not smell good wandered in here holding a washcloth to the of his head which was covered in blood. He said sometime that works at Devils Point pushed him. He said he wasn't a trouble maker so he wasn't going to call the cops but I could if I wanted. I didn't want. I lured him outside to a chair out front. That's when he started yelling aggressively at two guys on their way to the after hours party place. Bloody weirdos who yell at strangers are fall into the" we don't serve your kind around here category" so I politely encouraged him to go home. He tried to shake my hand but I don't shake hands in my line of work especially when they are covered in blood. "It's OK, I don't have AIDS" he said but that make touching him any more desirable. An unsuspecting woman he passed as he walked away fell for the ol' hand shake trick which lead to an unplanned detour to the porn shop bathroom

how to spot a whore

My boyfriend thought he spotted a prostitute taking me to work. I was like babe, the prostitutes around here are more likely to be out around noon and look more like soccer moms with bad dental insurance. That's just a teenage girl

your weekly slap on the ass from the stars

Jupiter conjoins with Mars this week, Aries, leaving you with a nasty case of the crabs. NO, not the cute little sand crabs they sell at the Mall. I'm talking about the ones that live in your pubic hair and lay eggs. gross. Nobody have sex with any Aries for this week if you don't want little bugs sucking the blood out of your sexual regions. Which reminds me of a cute little anecdote. A nursing home I used to work at years ago had a call in sheet by the phones with a checklist with all the various reasons employees might call in sick. There was the usual boxes for the flu and cold. But also on the list of reasons why someone might call in was the option of herpes. It made me wonder if someone had actually called in and said they couldn't possibly come in to work because of a raging case of herpes. That really has nothing to do with you though Aries, because there is no box for crabs.

Watch out for roving gangs of horny rabid midgets prowling the streets this weekend committing unspeakable sex acts on every big person that crosses their path. So if you've never been sexually assaulted by a dozen perved out little people, now is your chance to cross that off your list. I know I will.

 The laws of Fate are very clear that you should really try not to ever have children. It's a proven fact that if you make fun of someone that is different or that has a handicap Fate will punish you by inflicting that same abnormality on your children. And since you make fun of nearly everybody you come in contact with that is a little...differently-abled the odds that your kid will be a deaf colorblind Jehovah's Witness albino with a hilarious case of Turrets Syndrome are pretty high.They will also watch hour after hour of Dora the Explorer and Bratzs movies when they aren't involuntarily calling you a Motherfucker over and over at the grocery store. Use a condom.

They don't call you the sluts of the zodiac for nothing. Well I call you that. You will do anything to make someone love you, including ALL the freaky shit. but that doesn't make anybody like you, it just ensures that your the first name that comes to mind anytime someone wants to see what happens when you pour wet cement in another persons ass or they need somewhere to pee because the toilets broken. Only put strange objects inside you because it's something you love to do or to hide your drugs when the police raid your house. Oh yeah, the police are about to raid your house, you better start hiding things.

The stars are aligning in just the right position making this the perfect week to take up smoking Leo. Smoke em if you've got em.

You can go right to Hell if you think you so special that you can tell me my potato salad has too much mayonnaise in it Virgo. You heard me. Straight to Hell.

Why do you always lie all the time? Nobody believes any of those far out stories about cool things you've done or neat skills you have. You sure got that lying lier skill down pat. That's pretty neat. lier.


- Everybody's always saying how good you are in bed. "Scorpio is just so good in bed" they say. "Scorpio is a insatiable twisted perv" they say. "Scorpio is so talented with his tongue" they all say. Whatever. You weren't that good. And to be honest...my Grandmother could probably out perv you if last night was any judge. Prude.

You should never have messed around with that NecronomoconSag. It's just common sense not to go around playing with the book of the dead. Now we have this whole zombie infestation to worry about, not to mention all the flying demon things. Sheesh. Thanks a lot you big ruiner.

Do I even know any Capricorns? Does even one single goat person read my blog? I could whip up some awesome, imaginative horoscope that nobody's ever gonna read or I could save any flares of genius I could waste on you and give it to Aquarius. I think I'll do that.

Don't leave the house this week. Don't answer the phone. Don't read and mail and for the love of Pete don't watch TV. Hmmm...what else? Don't eat any shellfish or eat any farm raised catfish. Don't put your penis in a hollowed out cucumber that was just in the microwave until you are sure its not too hot. Only put it in there for like 4 seconds or you'll get burned. And don't have sex with any Aries or you'll get crabs. Just sit there. And Wait. I'll let you know when it's safe again.

This is going to sound like really far out advice Pisces, but I swear I'm not crazy. This totally doesn't make any sense and it goes against everything you know...but I'm just gonna say it. It might not be a good idea to trust a crackhead this week. I know..they are usually right on the money...oh and speaking of money. Don't loan them any money this week either. In fact it might be a good idea if you hide your money. And if you decide to have sex with one be prepared to get crabs. Even if they aren't an Aries. The crabs are coming down hard on the crack heads and the Aries right now. And possibly the Aquarius too if they do anything besides just sit there. Oh...and Scorpio and Libra look like they have one creepy crawly or another too.Did you just itch your down yonder area? Oh God..between the zombies and the horned out midgets and the crabs this is like...the best week ever! Well..if your into that sort of thing.

classic easter porn

For most holidays there is porn that easily works for that holiday. There's actually a ton of Christmas porn. For St Paddy's day we were stretching it by displaying anything with a midget or a very green cover. Last night when the boss said find easter porn.. that was a mother freaking challenge. We had a really good movie called Malice in Wonderland, with the wickedly awesome Sasha gray and a midget with a rabbit head, buy a customer never returned it. I found one staring a woman named Bunny. Another was the tale of Peter something... But the Peter in the title was a hard core fister, not the rabbit. There were a few with religious sounding titles like atonement or communion or something. Something like chicks with dicks does have the word chick in the title. That easter. I suppose all the genre of cream pie movies sounds vaguely like something the easter bunny might leave you. Compared to Santa, bunnies and Jesus are not getting much work in the porn industry

don't jerk off for the janitor. he no like

The janitor just came up to the counter and asked me embarrassed if I could ask the guys in the corner booth to shut their door. Are they masturbating for you? I asked. Yes. He answered. It's no good. This place probably freaks his shit out every night he's here. I personally don't care if they jerk off with the door open or even walk around naked back there as long as nobody complains. It doesn't hurt if the sight of them and their cock is something I wouldn't mind seeing rather than " oh my god that's burned into my brain!"

what's that smell

You know how certain smells bring back memories? A customer was just in, and I can't put my finger on what he smelt like or what memories it was bringing up. I think he might have smelt like something I used to use as lube when I was a teenager
    Speaking of smells, am I a bigger asshole for following a fowl smelling customer around with the air freshener or for letting that customer in the store in the first place?

12 1\2 just isn't big enough

A customer just made me take a bunch of huge dildos out of the box to compare their thickness to the John Holmes one he already has.. Because legendary Mr Holmes isn't thick enough, I mean I could almost get my whole hand around the puny fucker. Then I go to the trouble to call my manager to see if I could take 20% off the huge new black porn star cock and then he tells me maybe later. 

Oh my God people were too high the other night. The guy in preview booth one was fine then ten minutes later he is standing on a chair outside his booth because a gang of white guys are following him around spraying him with some toxin and now they have climbed through the ceiling from the place next door. Um, maybe your too high and talking crazy to the porn clerk and actually believing your delusions without first asking yourself if there's a chance that because your high that might have something to do with your paranoia. It's time to go
I also just had to kick out this fucking tweaker with a lot of fucking nerve. first he is bothering me like an entitled bitch. Can I use your charger? Can I look at that magazine behind the counter? Can you shut the door? Then I notice that a customers phone that was behind the counter charging is missing. He has it and is trying to figure out the password. I get the phone back and tell him it's time to leave. He doesn't want to leave yet. He gave the phone back, if he wanted to steal it be wouldn't have. I need to quit raising my voice. I need to check if I left anything in the back. FUCK! you need to leave when I fucking tell you too. He left behind the other phone he had that I was sure wasn't his. It turned out he had stolen it from a kid (by kid I mean he was about 20) he was back there having sex with.
   Speaking of that kid, he was either high or drunk working up the courage to have anal sex. he bought a large container of anal ease which is something only beginners use. A little dab will numb the crap out of your ass and probably the guy having sex with you. I really only recommend it for getting rid of tooth pain because you should be able to feel whatever is going on back there... The good and the bad because if something damaging is going on you should be able to feel it so you can stop it. Anyway the kid comes back ten minute later to buy another large container on anal ease. He must have lost it in the arcade because if he's just using tons of that instead of lube his butt has to feel like your mouth does after leaving the dentist. I'm kind of surprised he can even still feel his legs.

Pick a Fetish, any Fetish

Pick a fetish

Do people shy away from you at parties? Do new acquaintances always forget your name? Maybe you need to make yourself more interesting. Liven up that wallflower personality. One sure way to do that is to develop a fetish. That's right, a peculiar sexual quirk that you often put all the focus on during lovemaking. It will be a hit for interesting cocktail party talk.It seems like everybody and their grandmother has a foot fetish or works part time as a dominatrix these days. Here are a few sexual oddity's that will separate you from the crowd.

Agalmatophillia- To qualify for this you only need to become sexually attracted to mannaquinsand statues! Wasn't that an '80's movie?

Homilophilia- This is the term used for people who become sexually arouse while listening to or giving sermons and speeches. 

titloculolinctus- This little gem would refer to the act of licking your lovers eyeball for sexual arousal. Yikes! Eye just don't get it.But I think my sister might have it!shhhh!

Abasiophilia:sexual attraction to people who use leg braces. Hip!

Apotemnophillia:You just need to develop an intense desire to be an amputee by removing a healthy appendage.This time next year I bet all the cool kids will be doing it.

Dendrophilia: This would be a sexual attraction to trees and other large plants. Right on!

Toonophillia: This is you if you have a sexual arousal to cartoon characters and situations. Jinkies!

I know I would do the cartoon spy Archer in a hot minute. I would consider adding He-Man into the mix for a hot threesome but I get the feeling he is a huge power bottom and would need all the attention.

What cartoon character would you invite to your sex party?