the stars think your all a bunch of sickos. your fetish by sign

After all my efforts and forced patience I finally gained the trust of you sad sick little star signs and now it's time to pay up or you will be exposed.

Aries- you rams truely are the babies of the zodiac. It's always feed me, cloth me suck me fuck me. Me me me. It should be obvious that you would take it to the extreme and be the one with the diaper fetish and I have the pictures to prove it. You're a dirty little autonepiophille.

Taurus- you are lazy. You can sometimes literally be a human lazy Susan. Or a human piece of shelving. As long as someone puts a coffee table book on you your happy. Your a fornaphille or what I call an ikeaphille and it's a weird form of bondage where you become human furniture. Weirdo.

Gemini

What aren't you into? A little of this a little of that. One day your a panty wearing slut the next you have some little Japanese business man tied to a cross. What you are is narcissistic. You just want all the freaks and weirdos to want you and be in awe of your hard core perviness when what your really into is making other people into you.

Cancer- although you seem to be into everything like Gemini your actually only such a pervert because you want to be loved. Gemini does it for the applause, you do it because you didn't get enough love as a child and now you have this big empty hole that you try to fill with bigger and bigger things. You nasty. Go cry aboutit.

Leo-do you hear that Leo-? It's the sound of a cancer crying. Is it making you hard? Of course it is you sicko. what you are is a 

Dacryphilie. You get off on the tears of others you big asshole.

Virgo- church is your porn store and those confessionals  are your jack booths. You can't decide which is hotter the movie passion of the Christ or the scene in the exorcist when Reagan masturbates with the crucifix. It's called HIEROPHILia. Religious and sacred symbols get your ass in the pews.

Libra-your really into cars aren't you? No I mean really into them. Those sexy cold steel machines. You just want to get that ford charger alone in the garage don't you. How bout a cute little Volkswagen? Hell you'll do a maytag washer and dryer threesome. Your a 

MECHANOPHILIA.

Scorpio- everybody knows what a perv you are. We have all had an experience with a Scorpio that rocked our very soul that we never tell anybody about and are a little ashamed at the acts you got us to do. But how would the world look at you if they knew the original deviant really just wanted to cuddle after doing it in the missionary position with the lights off?

Sagittarius- I would have pegged you more of a horse person. Birds huh? Really birds? Your a into

AVISODOMY

Capricorn- nobody fucking cares what your into. You probably like doing your taxes or being a good citizen or your a cannibal. Who cares?

Aquarius-so what if you like clown porn? It's porn which is hot. It's with scary clowns which makes it hotter. When the circus comes to town it's like your fleet week.

Pices- your into trees you fucking hippy.I guess when your as hung as the stars say you are you need a big peice of wood to match. What does that bitch elm slut have that I don't besides a nasty case of tree rot?  Your into

DENDROPHILIA