sexual horror stories: the lost phone

I could probably use any number of my own experiences as cautionary Sex stories. Here’s another one with an important lesson.

About a year ago I was having a few drinks with my cousin at a janky little bar attached to a Chinese resultant. On our way out I realized I didn’t have my phone with me and went back in to get it but it wasn’t sitting on the bar where we were sitting. I assumed it was at home somewhere. Not being able to find my phone isn’t new so I wasn’t all that concerned. It would turn up.

The next day I was lying in bed with my boyfriend when his phone beeped. After checking the text he asked me why I sent him a video of me sucking someone’s cock.huh? He handed me his phone and sure enough there was a video of myself with a dick in my mouth sent from me.

Suddenly the reality of what was happening hit me in the balls and my stomach filled with anxiety over the worst case scenarios. Somebody had my phone, which was full of x rated pics and videos staring yours truly.I have never worked so fast about clearing up a problem with an account. I had the phone shut off immediately preventing whomever it was from causing any further damage. It meant that I wasn’t able to try and call the evil fuck who had my phone and confront them but I needed to cut them off!

I called my cousin and asked if she had gotten any weird messages from me. “No” she replied. Thank God. “Unless you count the blow job video you just sent” fuck me! Um yeah that counts as weird. Who else had been sent what else? I quickly did an inventory of what exactly I had on my phone. Some cock and ass shots (I’m pretty sure I had deleted any that I didn’t think we’re flattering), the previously mentioned video and one of me fucking someone. It could have been worse I guess. At least there wasn’t anything kinky. Now I had to find out who on my contact list had been contacted.

I soon found out. Pictures had been sent to my brother, a male cousin , another cousin’s girlfriend(who said I had a nice dick)and my pot dealer before I could warn them. My brother said when he got a dirty picture he texted back asking if I had sent him that on accident and the dick cunt pretending to be me answered back “you know you like it” Thankfully he was pretty sure I wouldn’t have done that. I put my brother in charge of getting to my mom’s phone and erasing anything sent from my phone before she could see it. I’m sure she wouldn’t have been bragging to her friends how well her son could take a hard face fucking.
I also got to my sister before she got to know me in a way a little sister shouldn’t get to know her big brother.

I used my T Mobile account to access any calls the fuck tard had made or received and started calling them. Apparently he had used my picture to put an ad on craigslist asking for guys to send him their dirty pictures. The one guy I talked to told me when he sent the guy his dick pics the guy sent him a rant about what a pervert he was and how he was turning him into the police. The police? Over a dick pic?

So the guy was a moralizing holier than thou who had decided to punish a sinner like me while he himself was being a nasty pervert getting off on possibly destroying someones life. Thankfully the people in my life are cool enough and used to me that this didn’t ruin any relationships. If I was hooking up with other guys in secret this could have just ended my relationship. I think he just sent stuff to people I had recently texted so you don’t know how relieved both me and my partner were that I hadn’t texted any of his sister recently. Not everyone knows or needs to know that we have an open relationship. Three are countless scenarios in which a “prank” like this could have really fucked someone badly. In my case it just became a pretty good story with a very important lesson. If you have x rated material of yourself in your phone or tablet (and for me it would be impossible not to what with there being a camera) Protect it with a password!!!

the stars think your all a bunch of sickos. your fetish by sign

After all my efforts and forced patience I finally gained the trust of you sad sick little star signs and now it's time to pay up or you will be exposed.

Aries- you rams truely are the babies of the zodiac. It's always feed me, cloth me suck me fuck me. Me me me. It should be obvious that you would take it to the extreme and be the one with the diaper fetish and I have the pictures to prove it. You're a dirty little autonepiophille.

Taurus- you are lazy. You can sometimes literally be a human lazy Susan. Or a human piece of shelving. As long as someone puts a coffee table book on you your happy. Your a fornaphille or what I call an ikeaphille and it's a weird form of bondage where you become human furniture. Weirdo.

Gemini

What aren't you into? A little of this a little of that. One day your a panty wearing slut the next you have some little Japanese business man tied to a cross. What you are is narcissistic. You just want all the freaks and weirdos to want you and be in awe of your hard core perviness when what your really into is making other people into you.

Cancer- although you seem to be into everything like Gemini your actually only such a pervert because you want to be loved. Gemini does it for the applause, you do it because you didn't get enough love as a child and now you have this big empty hole that you try to fill with bigger and bigger things. You nasty. Go cry aboutit.

Leo-do you hear that Leo-? It's the sound of a cancer crying. Is it making you hard? Of course it is you sicko. what you are is a 

Dacryphilie. You get off on the tears of others you big asshole.

Virgo- church is your porn store and those confessionals  are your jack booths. You can't decide which is hotter the movie passion of the Christ or the scene in the exorcist when Reagan masturbates with the crucifix. It's called HIEROPHILia. Religious and sacred symbols get your ass in the pews.

Libra-your really into cars aren't you? No I mean really into them. Those sexy cold steel machines. You just want to get that ford charger alone in the garage don't you. How bout a cute little Volkswagen? Hell you'll do a maytag washer and dryer threesome. Your a 

MECHANOPHILIA.

Scorpio- everybody knows what a perv you are. We have all had an experience with a Scorpio that rocked our very soul that we never tell anybody about and are a little ashamed at the acts you got us to do. But how would the world look at you if they knew the original deviant really just wanted to cuddle after doing it in the missionary position with the lights off?

Sagittarius- I would have pegged you more of a horse person. Birds huh? Really birds? Your a into

AVISODOMY

Capricorn- nobody fucking cares what your into. You probably like doing your taxes or being a good citizen or your a cannibal. Who cares?

Aquarius-so what if you like clown porn? It's porn which is hot. It's with scary clowns which makes it hotter. When the circus comes to town it's like your fleet week.

Pices- your into trees you fucking hippy.I guess when your as hung as the stars say you are you need a big peice of wood to match. What does that bitch elm slut have that I don't besides a nasty case of tree rot?  Your into

DENDROPHILIA